Sunday, January 17, 2010

Casual Sex and Dating

As with so many things in life, people have a wide variety of views on casual sex in the dating world. The definition of casual can change from person to person and because emotions so often play an enormous part in relationships, one person's idea may even change over time.

Whether you allow your morals, society or perhaps even your spiritual beliefs direct your feelings on the subject of physical intimacy, it is important that you know how you feel about it personally. Once you have reached a comfortable position with the idea it may help you in your dating life by allowing yourself to narrow down potential suitors.

Singles in our society have many more options than those of decades passed. While this freedom allows individuals to make their own choices, it can also make choosing the right ones a bit tricky at times. In many cases American singles find that their views about casual bedroom encounters are influenced by a variety of things; including parents, friends, the media, religion, future plans and physical impulses, to name but a few. With so many different sources clashing together it's easy to understand why a person, especially one who might feel a slight tug at the hormonal level, might find their own point of view a little shaky.

One of the key essentials in finding out exactly how you feel about such important decisions in dating is to separate different emotions or impulses. Love and lust, for example, may often go hand in hand, but are not mutually exclusive to one another.

Another very important point to keep in mind is that this decision is yours to make, no one else's. Though many different people and ideas will have an impact on how you feel, it's important not to allow these influences to push you in a direction that does not feel comfortable for you.

Making a decision about how you feel in regards to casual sex might not be a struggle when you have time to think on your own, but once you find yourself attracted to another person a great deal may change. Those individuals who find themselves lacking in confidence may find that they are too easily pushed in one direction or another, though they may not agree. Spontaneous conversation starters for shy people can be terrifying enough, asking those same individuals to make a split second decision about sex may be too much to bear.

If you feel plagued with uncertainty about your more intimate feelings it may be helpful for your to create a list of pros and cons. Simply mapping out your reasons may help you to understand your feelings clearly. Another useful tool can also be to set some kind of criteria for the person you may be interested in becoming intimate with. Anything from a certain amount of time passing, to gaining the approval of your friends may serve as a buffer if you are worried about your hormones running away with you.

However you choose to view the subject it is vital that express your opinion and show confidence with any potentially romantic interests. Though you may not want to blurt out your sexual preferences during your best pick up lines, it is important that you make your intentions clear when and if the timing is right.

For some this decision about sex will come very early on in life, for others it may be because they are seeking a change. Understanding your choices about sex will be of great help when trying to enforce them. Whether or not others agree with how you feel, such an intimate decision cannot be made by others, though you should always welcome any wisdom those close to you may offer.

Our society has been quick to label those people who choose to follow sexual preferences that appear a little extreme. On one end of the spectrum a person may be called a variety of nasty insults for feelings free enough to enjoy the physical company of many different people; on the other hand a person who chooses only to share such personal experiences when in love may also be bereted with insulting labels. Again, the most important guide you can find when it comes to how you feel about sex is your own feelings. Only you can truly tell which path is the right one for you to follow; and what to do when/if that path should change.

Sharing a physical experience with another person is an act that should bring you joy. While certain safety issues make it necessary for any adult to be cautious about whom they choose to have sex with, the rest of it is up to you. Be happy in your choices and always pay attention your feelings. In the end you may find out a great deal about others and more importantly, about yourself.

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